Angle & Perspective – Journal
{Personal Stories, Reader Challenges}
| Inclusion | Introvert | Extrovert | Personality Types | Diversity | Team Work | Workplace Environment | Understanding | Business Relations | Respect | Misunderstandings | Strengths | Weaknesses | Boundaries | Communication | Interaction | Solidarity | Challenges | Friendship | Appreciation |
Originally published 4.15.23
This article was prompted by a humorous video I watched of two introverts interacting with each other at different levels, which you can find by clicking here or watching below.
I did this to someone once…and then I went and apologized to my Mom… But actually, it’s happened to me before too, so I guess it’s karma.
Years ago, I used to work with this guy who was in a different department than I, but with whom I had business exchanges and developed a business friendship. He was super introverted and didn’t really talk to anyone except me, let’s just call him “D” for short. He later expanded to include my girl friend in the next cubicle who was not quite as shy, but fairly reserved. One day she and I got a special invitation to “D’s” demonstration of items he’d brought back from a trip to Japan in the meeting room.
This made my outgoing, extroverted coworker friend “E”, in the cubicle behind us, jealous and he confronted me on it and asked why he wasn’t in the “D” club. So, I, lacking tactful vocabulary, bluntly told him he came off as a little intimidating. “Me, intimidating?!” He gasped. He was in denial, surprised and honestly, I couldn’t imagine calling him that now, but only due to my own personal growth.
What made him intimidating to me at the time was that he was much taller and larger than I but also much more outgoing, louder, and chatty with pretty much everyone and there was nothing wrong with that, but introverts tend to gravitate toward low noise levels, few words, and a lot of privacy.
He was a super nice guy though and eventually, he was initiated into “the D club” as I tried to include him more and encourage “D” to expand his circle even further, and as “E” learned to navigate our weird social vibe -our two departments (along with the others in them) became even closer knit together and we had a really great team of not just co-workers, but friends (now I’m really starting to miss them…sniff 😥 ).
Another job I worked at a lady thought I was racist because I wasn’t overly chatty with her. Someone else explained on my behalf that I was just quiet, but it made me realize my actions were having unintended affects on others, so I tried to improve my conversation skills.
Moral of the story is: willingness to understand and appreciate others’ differences and meet them where they are or at least halfway brings inclusivity, team growth, and solidarity.
I’ve found wisdom in the proverbs of the Holy Scriptures concerning this, it beckons the simple (or those who think they know everything)…
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”
Understanding does not come easily, that’s why we have to get it. It’s not always just going to come to us. If we’re not sure why someone acts a certain way or why they did something the way they did, we can ask them and may find ourselves surprised by their answer and then be able to understand them better and/or use that understanding to decide how to move forward.
Forced relationships cause resentment and difficult barriers to overcome and often push people in opposite directions, but should still be worked at voluntarily in order for things to improve.
Lack of understanding brings offense which leads to division. You can unintentionally offend, push boundaries or harass someone without even knowing it. Introverts can come off as being rude and offensive for their lack of dialogue, presence, social participation, etc. when in reality they are not intentionally or purposely trying to offend or hurt anyone, but are simply functioning the way they are used to.
Extroverts can be seen by introverts as being rude, overly pushy, or forceful when in reality extroverts are as well in their natural habitat doing what works for them and not intentionally trying to hurt or offend anyone by engaging or encouraging further participation. And then of course there are people who have bad intentions and purposely want to bring down the morale of the team, but I won’t discuss that now.
Introverts and extroverts can learn from each other and help balance each other out. They both have strengths and weaknesses but are strongest when both give each other the respect and equal mutual contribution they each would want.
Misunderstandings are inevitable. Introverts and extroverts trying to communicate with each other can be like the cover of this article suggests, speaking in a foreign language, as can any conversation or interaction between two entirely different people.
The same exact thing said to two different people can result in two totally opposite reactions depending on where they stand or how they perceive the incoming information, but a willingness to try again, give more chances, keep the doors open, and find ways to bridge the gaps between those at odds with each other to seek more harmony is the way to a better work environment and balance in relationships.
Personal Insight: I stopped by my old job a couple of years ago and let “E” meet my son. I randomly ran into “D” at, not surprisingly, a bookstore and he got to meet my son too we caught up a little.
I challenge readers to think of someone they’ve been excluding, whether intentionally or not, and come up with a plan to foster inclusivity and gain understanding. LinkedIn has a good selection of available courses on the subject of Inclusivity and Diversity to expand learning in tactful techniques for taking action.
Who will you choose?
Cheers,
iam: ForeverBlessed
Angle & Perspective Journal
April 2023
Quote Reference:
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Proverbs-4-7
YouTube Video Link:
Angle & Perspective 
What’s your angle and perspective?