Holistic Wellness Sustainability & Indigenous Culture Research Enthusiast
Originally published September 22, 2023
| Feminism | Careers | Women | Heart Desires | Home-making | Traditional Values | Children | Family | Pro-Creation | Femininity | Community | Roles | Place | Moms | Dads | Babies | Wives | Husbands | Village | Clan | Lifestyle Choices | Planning | Sustainable Ways | Population Decline | Infertility | Birth | Life | Work-Life-Balance | Tribes | Daycare | Sitters | Support |
{Opinion/Blog/Voice}
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Like a sneaky little thief, feminist ideology has crept in and stolen precious time, valuable efforts, and the forgotten dreams of women.
I think it’s time we ask ourselves a question. Who’s really benefiting from feminism? Because women don’t seem to be anymore. American men have given up and are going overseas to find wives with traditional values. Babies are not being born, leaving our entire world in a population decline. Some experts say to the point of no recovery (and I can tell you who’s benefiting from that, but you can probably guess yourself.).
I’m a little more hopeful, but considering some other factors such as environmental and biological changes, our once-untampered DNA may not survive the future to be capable of breeding if drastic changes aren’t made in time.
This morning I read the article from Epoch Times…
Career-Driven Feminist Abandons Liberal ‘Fantasy’ for Family, Tells How Lies Target Young Women
I was around the same age when I came to the same conclusion. At the same time as I had my firstborn, a baby boom was happening around me with the women I knew. Most were first-time Moms who all had pre-existing careers. As they found sitters or daycare centers after returning to work, I’d hear them making comments about wishing they could be home with their kids or missing out on precious milestone moments with them.
But when I’d bring it up they’d all have this in-grained denial response at the ready, “I’m happy to be working.” “Times have changed. Women can’t stay home anymore.” “I don’t wish I was at home.” But you just said…
That’s when I really started waking up to the situation, because I was so blown away by women’s obvious denial of what they really wanted and their fear of admitting it, talking about it, or expressing it out loud. I even had my own reluctance that I had to come to terms with, not out of fear of what other men would say, but the backlash from other women who would have you believe there’s something innately wrong with you if you weren’t on board with the “This is how we do things now-leave your crazy ideas at home-and get back to building your career-at-an-office-job-away-from-home” *breath*… mentality…
I have no problem admitting that I want to be a stay-at-home Mom and prioritize home life and… I love babies and children. Babysitting 3 little boys last week reminded me just how much I love it. Nothing compares to the joy little ones can bring you.
As many women and families realize though, it’s nearly impossible to stay home with the kids. Especially when you’re a single Mom, without the support of a husband or support from family, community, or even churches at large who have also bought into the idea that women’s place is away from home and who have abandoned the notion of traditional values being tangible.
Ironically, at least in the US, the government will offer you some support as they still see the economic loss of single Moms as being significant enough to provide some meager monetary assistance to help. And of course, not saying these things are always the case in every situation, but at large, it’s a problem for women.
Still, no matter how concealed we’re supposed to keep this -I will never deny what I really want, even if I’m not positioned to do so. And I hope the women from the Epoch Times article and myself can be encouragement to other women out there who want to see a reverse of change or at least a new recognition of what women want going forward -and what our civilization needs going forward, to continue in existence by creating new generations.
Because I really don’t want to see women continue in this existence of denial of their true desires, passions, and inborn calling to pro-create. I don’t want to see women afraid and ashamed of wanting to be moms, mothers or grandmothers.
I want women to be able to freely express their innermost desires as completely normal and praiseworthy. I want to see girls, teens and women supported for choosing a life and/or lifestyle that plans marriage, children and community intervention into the equation. I want to see women challenged and encouraged not to abandon their dreams because of modern roadblocks.
I want to see women working to build a future where there’s no question of how their dreams might play out. I want to see women feel proud of their roles and contributions to life-giving power without minimizing the role of men or others in society as being equally valuable. I want women to believe they can be just as skillful at home as in the office.
I think the most dangerous idea that feminism has promoted is the idea that women didn’t work before feminism. The idea that women giving birth and recovering isn’t hard work. The idea that raising a child or multiple children isn’t hard work. The idea that keeping up a house and managing household affairs isn’t hard work. The idea that women’s charitable nature to care for the sick and elderly isn’t worth recognizing. The idea that a wife is an insignificant contribution to a family, society or nation. The idea that women who aren’t in the office aren’t as worthy of appreciation or merit. The idea that women who aren’t in the office must be lazy couch potatoes with no skills…
Anyone want to hand me a soapbox? 🙂
I’ll continue challenging these ideas as I go, but as I stated in previous articles, the world that has opened to me since embracing and pursuing my own convictions has led me to find many other women with the same convictions. A revolution is well in the making of borderline anti-feminist activists.
Of course, not all women want the same thing. Not all women can have children. Not all women can or want to live the same lifestyle. But denying that women as a whole don’t want life-long marriage with babies is one of the most ridiculous things we can do as a society and when women are pushed to suffocate those desires in preference of ‘economic growth’ and ‘modern progression’, believe me when I say, everyone is going to suffer eventually.
I believe women should have equal rights to be able to hold jobs that provide for themselves when they don’t have the traditional skills, husband, village, or whoever else to help, but that in itself raises issues that never seem to have been addressed. Why are women expected to take care of themselves when everyone knows “it takes a village to raise a child?” Does the village just magically appear when a child is born or does it pre-exist?
We live in times when modern advancements have severely disrupted the way of living that most of humanity knew before industrialization and worldwide interconnectedness. While there are certainly many things to appreciate, our entire idea of what a community is, much less a village, clan or tribe, has come to mean something we only imagine from past eras.
There’s a reason why “find your tribe” has become such a popular phrase of our time. People aren’t ready to give up on ideas of tight-knit circles of belonging or place when they can’t find them otherwise. I grew up in a community where everybody knew everybody but I’ve seen that change over time. I have much more appreciation for it now than I did when I was young.
I also have Native American heritage and have often had images in my mind of how tribes/villages worked closely together to sustain themselves. Everyone contributed as they were able. The elderly, sickly, and children were all taken care of collectively.
Now, parents send their kids to daycare workers they’ve never previously met while teaching their kids not to trust strangers…and go to work for stranger-bosses who take them for granted because there is no real relationship or long-term ties to community or commitment and everyone is running here and there with no time left to spare…Yet somehow we’ve progressed to a better way of being? And now the number of homeless grows every day, yet no one has the skills or resources they once had to fend for themselves in survival mode or turn to the local community that once existed. What’s left of community centers are drained and exhausted people and resources.
One thing is for sure. Humanity has and always will have difficulties, but how we attempt to alleviate those difficulties is worthwhile.
Appreciation for the way people lived for thousands of years is sorely neglected. Many self-sustained tribes, villages, and towns were overthrown by force, not because they hated their lives and voluntarily preferred a more progressive lifestyle. Many are still fighting for a return to pre-colonized ways of being, such as the Hawaiian Kanaka and other indigenous peoples around the world (for examples).
Last year, one of the men who inspired me when I was beginning my journey into voicing my concerns through writing and considerations to podcast, was a man who had previously lived off-grid for 20+ years and now lives in a small intentional community of a few families who help others build their own tiny homes. He said most of the phone calls he got were from women. Women who can’t afford housing and have no real options -which was how I found him in the first place.
After all the feminist movement has done, women are still suffering, often silently. I don’t believe it’s because feminism hasn’t achieved its goals or worked hard enough to get women into the workforce. I believe it’s because feminism neglects truly understanding women’s needs, wants, weaknesses, limitations, and inborn preferences as a whole.
This is why feminism will never win as the solution; convincing women they need to be more like men or advocating women are actually better than men, instead of appreciating women as women who are enough as women, and in light of their place in family and community, not as an independent faction.
What will the future look like? I think we’re already seeing it when we can no longer even define what a woman is and doctors are being fired for assigning a gender to a child at birth…etc. Will the voices of women and men who pine for traditional living and understanding be enough to bring the world back into balance? Will the voices of women who want to marry, have children, and be homemakers be heard as equally as those who don’t?
I leave you with an uplifting video of a Mom at home with her children 🙂
Happy @ home & Femininely yours,
iam:ForeverBlessed
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