Originally published February 25, 2023
Angle & Perspective – News Journal
{Opinion article}
Being Sad Isn’t A Defect
| Depression | Sadness | Social Awareness | Social Stigmas | Cultural Values | Mental Health | Different Perspectives | Loss | Acceptance | Happiness | Simpler Life
Dear readers:
This is an opinion piece written by the below-named journalist, intended to be thought-provoking and contemplative. Please see *Medical Disclaimer below* and other info related to this article for further advice on how to read this article and where to get help if needed.
Have you ever felt sad? Of course, you have, haha. We’re human. We all feel sad from time to time, but the real question is do you feel bad about being sad? Do you feel sadness has some stigma attached to it? Is it socially acceptable to feel sad? What about depressed? Can you be depressed and show it without having a mental health stigma attached? Is depression a disease, a feeling, permanent, chronic, what’s the deal?
Well, as humans, we are complicated creatures. On top of that, we love to make things even more complicated every chance we get. I’ve noticed this; especially about our current generation. Everything comes with a standardized textbook of information loaded with scientific data and quotas to go along with it to convince us of the socially acceptable position. Even sadness and depression.
You see, sadness and depression used to be pretty simple. In fact, before depression came along, people were just plain sad. I guess I’ve always been sort of fortunate to have had this conviction intuitively because when I went to therapy, I knew why I was so-called “depressed”. I was sad.
For me, there was a clear and definite link between what I knew I was feeling and what I knew had happened to me that caused me to feel the way I did, and it seemed natural enough. The sadness had an external source and I could never understand how a pill could possibly “fix me” when my problems were largely external. I figured that since the events were what triggered such sorrow, in time, as they passed, so would my sadness.
I would be influenced by two women brave enough to call it for what it was in simple terms. “I’m sad.” Spoken by both Brittany Spears during an interview and Winona Ryder as Susanna Kaysen in the movie, “Girl, Interrupted.”
“The term “depression” came into use in the 19th century, originally as “mental depression,” to describe lowering of spirits, and came to replace melancholia as a diagnosis.”1
Source: Paykel ES. Basic concepts of depression. Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2008;10(3):279-89. doi: 10.31887/DCNS.2008.10.3/espaykel. PMID: 18979941; PMCID: PMC3181879. National Library of Medicine, Article
So how did a 19th-century substitute word for the idea of a broken spirit or broken heart get so popular and now become so stigmatized with mental health illness and controversy?
The word makes sense. “Depressed.” When something is deeply pressed upon. Okay, fine…let’s look up the dictionary’s real explanation…Here we go, “unhappiness”… “despondency” … in other words, sad. Got it.
“There’s no single cause of depression. It can occur for a variety of reasons and it has many different triggers. For some people, an upsetting or stressful life event, such as bereavement, divorce, illness, redundancy and job or money worries, can be the cause. Different causes can often combine to trigger depression.”2
As I said… events.
To this day, I don’t feel like anyone understood how I felt. Back then, it really bothered me. I thought people older, more mature, who had experienced more of life than myself, would understand what I was going through, but I never got that. In fact, the mere fact that people couldn’t understand how I felt may have depressed me as much as the initial events.
This was a REALLY big deal and while I did have support from family, friends and church members, no one else thought it was as big of a deal as I did. Eventually, I had to accept that no one would ever truly understand how I felt because they weren’t me and what happened to me was specific to me, regardless of how anyone else might deal with the same or similar situation. I also realized I didn’t want others to feel as bad as I felt, so I stopped trying to get them there with me.
Still, I expected a little more understanding from professional support but was moreso met with…
Clinician: “You have a chemical imbalance.”
Me: “Pardon me?”
Clinician: “You have an imbalance of chemicals in your brain. This pill will restore balance.”
Me: “No…I have an imbalance in my life where bad events have taken over the good ones. How is a pill going to change my circumstances?”
I don’t disagree that chemicals in the brain are apt to change or play a significant role in our psyches, but too many times prescriptions are given by PCP’s without even recommending the patient see a therapist, psychiatrist or otherwise. Patients are not always given a clear understanding about the side effects. My deceased friend taught me that lesson after his attempt to wean off of anti-depressants ended in suicide.
I may have ended up the same, but I was too strong-willed. I took myself off medication regardless of the warning not to, and eventually had a pretty decent outlook on life and came through ok. I’m not advocating this is the way for everyone, but I also want to use my voice to give people hope for their own convictions and common sense. You can go through a mess of things and still come out without medication if you have the right mindset, strong enough will and the right mental tools to help, and dare I say, by the grace of God.
I don’t want this article to lead anyone into focusing on debating the use of medication. This article is about being sad and sadness alone can lead someone to die naturally or end their life, so it should be taken seriously, but so should popular opinions that don’t really address the client’s spirit, heart or other needs and may cause the client to be misrepresented or taken advantage of during difficult times.
Thankfully, prestigious institutions that are able to directly influence the medical scene -like Harvard, are taking the chemical imbalance concept under serious scrutiny and will hopefully set the stage for future change and adaptation in the medical field and societal understanding at large.
“Research suggests that depression doesn’t spring from simply having too much or too little of certain brain chemicals. Rather, there are many possible causes of depression, including faulty mood regulation by the brain, genetic vulnerability, and stressful life events.” 3
Way to go, Harvard. Thanks for making this really complex and complicated topic a little more simple for us. By learning how to manage our mood, learning what weaknesses our parents and family are vulnerable to, and learning how to manage the stress that comes with life, we can try as best within our means, to alleviate the symptoms of depression and sadness…if so desired.
Maybe if we were taught a little more that sadness isn’t something to be ashamed of, or something that could have others mislabeling us as mentally ill and needing medication for, maybe we could just be ok with saying, “She’s sad. Some really sad things happened to her,” that might hopefully lead to a greater understanding of and appreciation for the nature of things.
In their book, “The Loss of Sadness,” Allan V. Horwitz and Jerome C. Wakefield suggest a different angle on the case of depression:
“Depression has become the single most commonly treated mental disorder, amid claims that one out of ten Americans suffer from this disorder every year and 25% succumb at some point in their lives. Warnings that depressive disorder is a leading cause of worldwide disability have been accompanied by a massive upsurge in the consumption of antidepressant medication, widespread screening for depression in clinics and schools, and a push to diagnose depression early, on the basis of just a few symptoms, in order to prevent more severe conditions from developing.In The Loss of Sadness, Allan V. Horwitz and Jerome C. Wakefield argue that, while depressive disorder certainly exists and can be a devastating condition warranting medical attention, the apparent epidemic in fact reflects the way the psychiatric profession has understood and reclassified normal human sadness as largely an abnormal experience.”
If simple feelings can be turned into a diagnosed-persona, such as “depressed person,” I’d love to see psychiatry put more emphasis on diagnosing “happy people” or “Positive and uplifting persons.” Where is the diagnosing of good feelings as states of being or genetic dispositions? (Just to consider)
Likewise, if we can so easily identify when we’re feeling some type of negative way, we should also put as much emphasis on identifying when we’re feeling some positive type of way. If we can so easily express ourselves when we’re feeling down, we should feel equally confident about expressing ourselves when we’re up. Don’t you agree? Would love to hear some feedback.
If you’re feeling sad or depressed or blue or any other color, I leave you will this final advice…
It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to be depressed…but it’s also ok to be happy, even ecstatically so if you want to. If you’re brave enough to. Don’t forget that. 🙂 Being sad isn’t a defect, it’s a normal response to what you perceive as loss.
(I can’t help but feel a little more positive as this song plays through my open window while my neighbors celebrate their wedding and I hope it might cheer someone else out there up a little bit too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3mJkSqZbX4 The Middle – Zedd, Maren Morris, Grey )
Further reading below.
Honestly and caringly,
Cheers peeps,
iam: ForeverBlessed
“All things balanced and in moderation.”
Dear readers:
If your feelings of sadness aren’t going away and you feel less able to manage the thoughts, emotions, or sense of stress in your everyday life, please seek the attention of friends and family who can help support you through difficult times. Please also seek a licensed therapist, counselor, or medical professional who can provide you with resources that will help you manage or begin a journey of recovery. I pray blessings and peace over all who might read this and be in need. If you are feeling extreme thoughts of hopelessness, sorrow or contemplating ideas that could result in hurting yourself or others, please use the Hotline below to call someone immediately and have someone listen to and support you through your difficult time.
**Dial 988** to reach someone immediately or 1-800-273-TALK
Secondary disclaimer: “[The author] assumes no responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions in the content of this article. The information contained in this article is provided on an “as is” basis with no guarantees of completeness, accuracy, usefulness or timeliness…”
Medical Disclaimer
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained in this article are for informational purposes only. No material in this article is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this article.
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Medical disclaimer text sample source:
Article References to footnotes by number:
1https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181879/#:~:text=The%20term%20%E2%80%9Cdepression%E2%80%9D%20came%20into,replace%20melancholia%20as%20a%20diagnosis.
2https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/clinical-depression/causes/#:~:text=There’s%20no%20single%20cause%20of,often%20combine%20to%20trigger%20depression.
3https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression#:~:text=Research%20suggests%20that%20depression%20doesn,vulnerability%2C%20and%20stressful%20life%20events.
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